Have you ever wanted to go away?
I always joke and tell everyone, "Right about 9am every morning when i realize what God has asked me to do..." Everyone laughs and we go on joking about the million of impossible things we do before breakfast each morning.
But really, are there ever moments where you start to question God and what HE was thinking when HE called you to do what HE has asked you to do?
I am here more often than I would like to admit.
When these alone and desperate times come; they hit me like a wave.
The wave you look at and think you can jump over it, quickly realizing as you are almost drowning, your perception of the wave was wrong. Now you are stuck with lungs full of water, almost throwing up sea water, embarrassed that you thought you could make it, and hating the beach, wishing you would never even see it again!
These times normally come when I have big spiritual changes or big life changes.
I start to panic, then my buddy, overwhelmed, decides he is going to come and stay for awhile. Followed by his friends exhaustion hopelessness. This is the time I should take a time out and really pray. But sometimes, I forget about that and keep trying to kick my unwanted house guests out on my own. They never leave because they are overpowering and bring more friends like desperation, depression, and loneliness. This is about the time my heart feels like it is going to stop. I literally feel like I am dying inside. This is when I shut down. All thoughts and living stops. I can't do much because my house guests have eaten up all my food and have run up my electricity and water so high, I could not pay the bill, and now they have shut off my service. Bummer...
At this point...I have no fight left in me.
This is when the final guests arrives attacking me physically. It feels like a small troll takes residence on my chest, beating it every now and then to remind me of his presence and domination.
Unwanted house guests have taken over, they have trashed my house, they have turned off all my utilities, and now I am starved along with my family because they emptied my frig.
UGH...I hate when life gets to this point of despair.
Have you been there??
Are you there now??
Now I know not everyone is as lucky as I am; to have raving house parties with party crashers like my little troll beating on my chest like Tarzan. Not everyone can have their not so very nice friend depression eating away at every emotion you have, replacing them with false feelings of sadness, despair, or anger. But everyone does have uninvited guests, and whoever they are, the sooner they leave, the better life will be for everyone in your home.
So how do we avoid unwanted house guests all together?
Pray
Not just little prayers....I am talking down on your knees praying, offering your praise & petitions up to the Lord. I find when my prayer life is lacking and when I am whimsically praying, my heart is not truly focused on the Lord, on HIS desires for me, on HIS blessings of life, salvation, etc and I get stuck trying to make life happen all on my own. This is when I end up forgetting to lock my back door and those pesky house guests sneak in.
Read
Read HIS Word. EVERYDAY! I am not saying to do this because I am the amazing Holy Momma who reads everyday at dawn. Yes, I often miss my quiet time because I overslept, or the day was packed and time slipped away from me. It is vital to our souls to fill up with spiritual food. When we don't eat a meal, how do we feel? How about a full day of meals? Even more so for our spirit! It craves spiritual food daily. So feed your soul! Not only does it keep your soul full but it also keeps our perspective focused. We can see reality, and the enormity of the situations of life, and will be ready to take a few steps back if need be to avoid drowning. It keeps our eyes focused on our FATHER in heaven and HIS hand reached out to us; rather than trying to jump over this wave we clearly will not be able to get through without a helping hand. Acts 15:31 says, "And there was great joy throughout the church that day as they read this encouraging message." HIS word brings encouragement to the believers living in a sinful world; a world not our own. I NEED HIS WORD DAILY TO BE ENCOURAGED! How blessed are we to be able to read HIS word! If you don't understand bits and pieces, don't lose heart. Just keep reading and the Holy Spirit will minister to you because HE is faithful to the faithful... 2 Samuel 22:26
Share
So often we are the embarrassed half drowned person on the beach. So why are we pretending we are well? Why do we sit there, pulling a lobster out of your suit while throwing up sea water, and telling everyone we are fine? WE ARE NOT FINE! We are dying inside! Lets start asking for help! Ask people for prayer! Tell people a wave just overtook you! Share with people your house is messy and you need some help cleaning up! God never made us to be on our own people!! HE made us to have partners. This is why HE made Eve for Adam, Sarah for Abraham, sons and daughters to be cared for and learn from their parents. HE created the family so they can take care of their elders. HE created tribes of people so they could live in groups and build their own communities and take care of one another. Yet here we are, on the beach, alone. Or we sit in our trashed house alone with a handful of uninvited house guests, and no strength left to throw them out. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, "A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand
back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for
a triple-braided cord is
not easily broken." When we ask for help from a friend, we are partnering with a fellow believer, who will help us to watch out for those overwhelming waves and remind us to lock our back door so the enemy cannot sneak in.
Also, don't limit your friendships to merely a prayer life preserver. Start to dig deeper in your relationships. Seek out things to pray over specifically with friendship; being more candid about who you just let in your home....whether it be depression or sadness. Begin to rejoice together! Truly rejoice! Let your heart sing with gladness! Don' hide it and be reserved! Begin to create a community of friends around you who will support and encourage you, and you the same for them. Let us be who God intended us to be; passionate bond servants of Christ, overjoyed about life, friendships, and dedicated to a life of service and love in our community!
So...after this wave hits you, and you pray, read, and share, does this mean those pesky guests will pack up and go right away? Sometimes it is a process. We must get away from the feeling of sitting on the beach of life, hating every moment, and get ready to jump back in the water. There have been times this has taken longer than I wanted it to, but the truth of God's word has helped to encourage me and the Holy Spirit within gives us all we need to get up and try again. It has never been an easy process but God has always been faithful. I am happy to say that the little troll has never taken on a permanent residence on my chest. And I have been back in the water of life, catching the waves.
I encourage you today...draw closer to God. Ask HIM to handle all those impossibilities for you. Ask HIM to remove your unwanted house guests. Ask HIM to give you the courage to jump back in the water. HE is always waiting, with HIS hand held out to you...
Bless You!
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Life is an Adventure
Life always seems to be an adventure with a new bend and twist around the corner. I can't wait to see whats on the other side of this situation. Sometimes it is something that brings us joy or heartache, but either way, the Lord is stretching us, shaping us, breaking, us, and healing us, all to become more like HIM.
But I don't always view it that way!! Come on' I am human!! How easy is it to be involved in a car accident and jump out and praise the Lord right away while you are looking at your trashed car?!?!? It takes a moment for you to gather yourself together and then you change your perspective as you recognize that you are not DEAD, and that the other dirver is not, and that maybe it is not as bad as it oculd have been. This is a moment when you recognize that OUR FATHER in heaven is bigger than the car you hit, and HE has been watching over from you since before you were born.
Does it feel good to be broken? NO!! I have never broken a bone but my brother has and it was incredibly painful for him as he healed. The same as our Father breaks our pride, or when He allows us to fall, He wants us to get back up so we can learn that scrapes, bruises, and breaks heal. He desires for our will to strengthen so in the future we will not be broken by the same situation, we will have learned from the times in the past that He is our strength and rock that we can depend on. Praise the Lord for HIS security as we go through this amazing adventure.
But I don't always view it that way!! Come on' I am human!! How easy is it to be involved in a car accident and jump out and praise the Lord right away while you are looking at your trashed car?!?!? It takes a moment for you to gather yourself together and then you change your perspective as you recognize that you are not DEAD, and that the other dirver is not, and that maybe it is not as bad as it oculd have been. This is a moment when you recognize that OUR FATHER in heaven is bigger than the car you hit, and HE has been watching over from you since before you were born.
Does it feel good to be broken? NO!! I have never broken a bone but my brother has and it was incredibly painful for him as he healed. The same as our Father breaks our pride, or when He allows us to fall, He wants us to get back up so we can learn that scrapes, bruises, and breaks heal. He desires for our will to strengthen so in the future we will not be broken by the same situation, we will have learned from the times in the past that He is our strength and rock that we can depend on. Praise the Lord for HIS security as we go through this amazing adventure.
Friday, March 15, 2013
Cherry Blossoms
Cherry Blossoms....
What things make you smile?
What things bring joy to your heart just by looking at them?
For some it could be a candle, a cup of tea, a good meal, delicious smells. I have several: seeing my kids laughing together, roses or a note from my husband, a clean house....But today, its cherry blossom trees. I have always wanted to have some in my own yard but have never had the opportunity. When i see them along the road, for some reason their fresh color and simple beauty warms my heart. These simple things in life help me to remember what is important and who is in control. I needed that today.
Some days, we have a difficult time just trying to breathe. It feels like the enemy is no longer throwing arrows as the scriptures reference to, but rather nuclear bombs; wrenches in your well oiled machine. This week I had a certain amount of time and about a thousand tasks on my list prior to the end of the week. The pressure grew day by day, as I realized my checklists were remaining unmarked and the days were flying by. So here we are now, when my checklist should be in the trash because it should all be done, and in reality, I am still working on day 1 and it is day 7.
I would like to say, I looked at my checklist and gave it over to the Lord, reevaluating daily, and making adjustments where necessary. It would bring me joy to say that i stopped and remembered the new changes I have been making in our schedules and lives this past week, and that it takes time to transition through the changes. I really wish my relationship investing, teaching, tining, and foundation building took precedence over my lists. Honestly, today it didn't.
My morning today consisted of a few hours of freaking out over spilled milk and sticky floors, dirty laundry on the sofa, and dirty bathrooms. After attempting to use my microwave that broke 2 days ago and realizing I will need to use the stove to cook breakfast, a morning full of tantrums and time outs from my little 2 year old, trying to finish up some schoolwork, trying to find some clothes that fit, and put my face together so I don't look like a zombie, I am brought to a place of insanity that is indescribable. My heart ends up in this place often; a place of total chaos and panic. It is in this horrible dark and lonely place I begin to question the hidden pockets of my heart and find even more feelings of condemnation and utter failure.
Ugh....I hate this place. It is painful and emotional. In this crazy place; fear grows and overtakes me. I end up missing out on the simple joys of life. Anger out pours from the depths of my wicked flesh and I take it out on everyone around me.
Sitting in a comfortable chair, munching on a family size bag of potato chip, fighting back the tears while trying to keep my mouth from saying words that will tear down all who are around me is where my heart was this morning. "Lord, how did I get here? And how do I get out of it? Where do i turn now? back to my lists?" The questions begin to flow and my emotions rage and this is when I discover the only anecdote for my sickness; time. I need time to refocus. I need time to hear from my Abba Father. I need time to praise HIM for life, children, a home filled with stuff I enjoy to use, a dirty home because it means people were enjoying life while making things dirty. Then begins the fight; if I take the time, my lists will remain unchecked and may actually never be completed. That's when I look up from my chair and see cherry blossoms. My favorite tree! God reminds me how much HE treasures me by putting this tree right outside my kitchen window so i can look at it while i do dishes, schedule my life, and make new lists. HE has put this tree there so i can always remember HE loves me and desires for me to be filled with joy through all stages of life; big or small. HE reminds me HE is always in control. HE comforts me by gently putting on my heart: if I never complete my checklists, I am not a failure. I have chosen to put things which are eternal ahead of this temporal life; relationships and the ministry of family.
The real problem is, in this face paced world, who has time? We never have the time! Our world keeps spinning so fast that merely holding on so we don't fly off into outer space takes all our effort and focus. Trying to really read and study HIS word or taking time to sit is just not an option for most people these days. But this is one place where God shows how real HE is. When we take the time and become obedient; looking to HIM for our issues, HE rewards with peace. He hears us, and grants us with... guess what.....more time!! He grants us with clarity of mind and a calm heart so we can tackle so we can gain an eternal perspective and let go of the things that hinder us from truly trusting and leaning on HIM. HE gives us discernment so we can recognize if those things on our checklist were things that really needed to be done anyway. Because sometimes, these things we allow our selves to be consumed by end up not being what we need to lay our focus on.
Here is where I am at, taking time to sit next to my son while he watches a movie. I stopped my lists for a time to write as God had instructed so i can encourage you to make time and enjoy the cherry blossom tree HE has put in your yard to remind you of HIS live for you! As I reevaluate my lists, gather my coupons, and prepare for the weekend duties I have with the household, church, lesson planning, friends, I am going to start looking to my cherry blossom tree. Enjoying its fresh pink color while watching the buds blossom and remember when I am always looking at my lists I will be looking down; missing out on the things that make my heart sing when I look up.
What things make you smile?
What things bring joy to your heart just by looking at them?
For some it could be a candle, a cup of tea, a good meal, delicious smells. I have several: seeing my kids laughing together, roses or a note from my husband, a clean house....But today, its cherry blossom trees. I have always wanted to have some in my own yard but have never had the opportunity. When i see them along the road, for some reason their fresh color and simple beauty warms my heart. These simple things in life help me to remember what is important and who is in control. I needed that today.
Some days, we have a difficult time just trying to breathe. It feels like the enemy is no longer throwing arrows as the scriptures reference to, but rather nuclear bombs; wrenches in your well oiled machine. This week I had a certain amount of time and about a thousand tasks on my list prior to the end of the week. The pressure grew day by day, as I realized my checklists were remaining unmarked and the days were flying by. So here we are now, when my checklist should be in the trash because it should all be done, and in reality, I am still working on day 1 and it is day 7.
I would like to say, I looked at my checklist and gave it over to the Lord, reevaluating daily, and making adjustments where necessary. It would bring me joy to say that i stopped and remembered the new changes I have been making in our schedules and lives this past week, and that it takes time to transition through the changes. I really wish my relationship investing, teaching, tining, and foundation building took precedence over my lists. Honestly, today it didn't.
My morning today consisted of a few hours of freaking out over spilled milk and sticky floors, dirty laundry on the sofa, and dirty bathrooms. After attempting to use my microwave that broke 2 days ago and realizing I will need to use the stove to cook breakfast, a morning full of tantrums and time outs from my little 2 year old, trying to finish up some schoolwork, trying to find some clothes that fit, and put my face together so I don't look like a zombie, I am brought to a place of insanity that is indescribable. My heart ends up in this place often; a place of total chaos and panic. It is in this horrible dark and lonely place I begin to question the hidden pockets of my heart and find even more feelings of condemnation and utter failure.
Ugh....I hate this place. It is painful and emotional. In this crazy place; fear grows and overtakes me. I end up missing out on the simple joys of life. Anger out pours from the depths of my wicked flesh and I take it out on everyone around me.
Sitting in a comfortable chair, munching on a family size bag of potato chip, fighting back the tears while trying to keep my mouth from saying words that will tear down all who are around me is where my heart was this morning. "Lord, how did I get here? And how do I get out of it? Where do i turn now? back to my lists?" The questions begin to flow and my emotions rage and this is when I discover the only anecdote for my sickness; time. I need time to refocus. I need time to hear from my Abba Father. I need time to praise HIM for life, children, a home filled with stuff I enjoy to use, a dirty home because it means people were enjoying life while making things dirty. Then begins the fight; if I take the time, my lists will remain unchecked and may actually never be completed. That's when I look up from my chair and see cherry blossoms. My favorite tree! God reminds me how much HE treasures me by putting this tree right outside my kitchen window so i can look at it while i do dishes, schedule my life, and make new lists. HE has put this tree there so i can always remember HE loves me and desires for me to be filled with joy through all stages of life; big or small. HE reminds me HE is always in control. HE comforts me by gently putting on my heart: if I never complete my checklists, I am not a failure. I have chosen to put things which are eternal ahead of this temporal life; relationships and the ministry of family.
The real problem is, in this face paced world, who has time? We never have the time! Our world keeps spinning so fast that merely holding on so we don't fly off into outer space takes all our effort and focus. Trying to really read and study HIS word or taking time to sit is just not an option for most people these days. But this is one place where God shows how real HE is. When we take the time and become obedient; looking to HIM for our issues, HE rewards with peace. He hears us, and grants us with... guess what.....more time!! He grants us with clarity of mind and a calm heart so we can tackle so we can gain an eternal perspective and let go of the things that hinder us from truly trusting and leaning on HIM. HE gives us discernment so we can recognize if those things on our checklist were things that really needed to be done anyway. Because sometimes, these things we allow our selves to be consumed by end up not being what we need to lay our focus on.
Here is where I am at, taking time to sit next to my son while he watches a movie. I stopped my lists for a time to write as God had instructed so i can encourage you to make time and enjoy the cherry blossom tree HE has put in your yard to remind you of HIS live for you! As I reevaluate my lists, gather my coupons, and prepare for the weekend duties I have with the household, church, lesson planning, friends, I am going to start looking to my cherry blossom tree. Enjoying its fresh pink color while watching the buds blossom and remember when I am always looking at my lists I will be looking down; missing out on the things that make my heart sing when I look up.
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